I've given a lot of thought about this topic over the last week. I was inspired by Black Feather's blog article Coyote Medicine: Self-Sabotage Made Easy. I debated whether to write about it but on Monday when I saw the two coyotes out in the field I was pretty sure I was going to explore this issue further. When I was watching television on Wednesday night and caught the episode of Lisa Ling's - Our America doing interviews with the faith healer, Todd Bentley, I knew I had to write this. I often find myself chasing recognition as a way of boosting my self-esteem, rather than just standing in my medicine, following my soul’s mission, and allowing opportunities for healing to come.
The battle of the ego doesn't just apply to healing. It can apply to anything that you do well. How many times have I felt the exact same way about my skills and talents? How many times have I seen the quest for recognition (AKA bragging) in others and been disgusted by it? My personal feeling is that any skill or talent that you have that sets you apart from others is a gift from a greater power be it God, the Great Spirit, the Universe, whatever name you are comfortable giving it. To hold your gifts hostage by seeking the recognition limits your skills and dishonours the who (or what) that granted them to you in the first place. By bragging about yourself, you are also dishonouring others who skill set is different than yours. Their's is just as valuable and worthwhile as yours. It's just that, different. Nothing more and nothing less. I find if I keep that in mind it helps to keep me grounded. But oh boy, when you meet a bragger! It's hard not to put them in their place!
The issue of ego and humility was really brought to a head for me on Wednesday night. Todd Bentley is a faith healer originally from Canada and sports many tattoos and piercings and has lead a less than exemplary life before getting into this line of work. None of this is what I have concern about. He had an affair and was divorced and remarried. Also not an issue for me. Temptation is out there for everyone and we all make mistakes at sometime or another. It's what you take from the lesson that matters. And for those who want to know where I am getting this information about him, I found it on Wikipedia. Do a search of his name on any search engine and your sure to see all you would want to about him
What bothered me the most was his attitude towards his healing. I saw a decided lack of humility. The truck he drove, and was extremely proud of, was very tricked out with flames just for a start. He lived in a very nice house with his new wife. I can't help but think where is all the money coming from to buy all this. What about living as a simple man and not seeking out the "recognition...to boost [his] self-esteem"? When you live large like this isn't that what is going on?
Contrast this with John of God in Brazil. He is also a faith healer but his attitude is what sets him apart to me. There is a fantastic article here that you may want to read. Some of the quotes he said are the epitome of what I would hold as essential in healing.
One thing that I commented on while watching Todd Bentley was that it wasn't him that was healing and he seemed to fail to recognise that. No healer is responsible for the healing. A healer is no more responsible for a cure than a bottle is for getting you drunk. The bottle only holds the alcohol, and only for a time, that is responsible for an inebriated state. It's the same for healing.
One of the quotes from John of God in the article has him saying, "No, it's not me. It's God. It's God using me as an instrument." and "I'm just a simple farmer who when I look at a person and somebody is ailing, the spirits come to me and incorporate my body. They're the ones that instruct my hands to do whatever they need to do to cure someone." He even makes sure to tell those that come to see him that not everyone can be cured. Now that's got to be a tough dose of ego to swallow. Both as a pride thing and also as a guilt thing. How would you not ask yourself how come you couldn't heal someone? Did you do something wrong? Did you offend in some way? Those would be tough questions to not have answered.
The issue that I hold with Todd Bentley is the over abundance material wealth in his life. Yes, I know that we all have to eat, pay bills, send the kids to college, and would like some luxuries in our lives. I know this and trust me, I like the little luxuries too, but when is enough enough?
This is a concern that I have with lots of healers out there. I've met a number of Native Americans (actually they were mostly Canadians) over the years, and one of the most important points they want to get across was about money. Don't get me wrong, this ego and humility issue is also a huge concern and one of the most fundamental lessons to learn.
My understanding of "payment" for healing is that it should neverbe for a set amount. There should never be a demand for payment of any sort. It should be what the person feels they would like to give you. That may be something as simple as a handmade gift, a meal, a cup of coffee. It may be money or it may be nothing at all. You are supposed to use your gifts of healing for everyone and NOT expect anything in return. Payment may happen or payment may not, but everyone deserves and should receive the same care and attention.
I found another quote from the article about John of God that I think sums this point up quite well.
He doesn't charge people for what he does. So one couldn't accuse him of trying to milk these people who are easy targets. But the fact is, the clinic does pull in something like $400,000 a year from the sale of herbs. I asked him about it. He said, people who can't afford it, he gives it to them.
And to me that's exactly how it should be. If someone wants to take advantage of that view held by those in the healing world, and they never give back for what they have been given, that's their choice to make. I can't judge that.
The irony of this blog post and what kept me from writing it for a week is this simple question: Am I sharing a view point or am I just as bad? Am I trying to get my ego stroked by having the recognition? Probably. But that's an excellent question to ask. Where is the line between sharing with others and doing for selfish reasons? In writing this blog post I would like to believe that I'm doing it to have other healer's think about how they "run their business of healing" so to speak. I want the feedback and expect I'll have to defend my point of view. But is feeling the need to defend myself, is that ego raising it's ugly head again? Or do I let my point stand for itself and leave it be?
Ahhhhh! This is a tricky world. Darn coyotes!
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